Sometimes when I'm up really late and I hear the neighborhood hoodlums firing their sawed-off rifles, like, really close by, I love to unpack my own weaponry and join in on the fun. Tonight, though, I didn't quite feel up to it and, for that, I'd like to publicly apologize.
Maybe next time?
Also, I do believe the transient who loudly coughs on the front stoop of my apartment building late at night can meet my faggoty ass in hell, where I hope we'll both enjoy a stiff drink together and laugh about the times when he annoyed the shit out of me while I attempted to enjoy some online porn.
*UPDATE*
Transient who loudly coughs is inside the building. This I know for sure. Yes, yes indeed: the coughing has moved, my good online friends. But I'm not worried. This happened last night, too, and I awoke this morning without a bleeding anus; I should be okay tonight, too.
