Okay, somebody has got to talk to Kelly Osborne immediately. Uhm, could that 1960s hair get any bigger? Could she hike the boobs higher? Could she be wearing a tighter corset? Poor thing looks like a washed up drag queen. Maybe it's just because it's midterm exam time and I'm feeling a little punchy, but I just have to say that this girl... I mean, what's going on? Do you want to talk to her or should I?
And I know Paris Hilton has never really been very good at picking men (Rick Solomon from her sex tape had a big dong but lacked a lot in the face/brains department) but her new guy looks kind of heinous. And his name--I'm not kidding--is also Paris. Hmmm. I sort of wish that maybe she'd get lost like her cell phone and then not reappear. Sort of.
All I have to say about this is that some women were not meant to be skinny. I think Star Jones looks fucking scary as hell after her weight loss. Her head still looks gigantic but now she has this tiny neck and I'm afraid her head is going to go rolling of that neck and shoulders and land somewhere, still hogging the red carpet and thanking Payless Shoes for helping her pay for her wedding to that Al guy. I think Bridezilla should put a few back on, honestly. Don't you?
