Friday, February 11, 2005

Bush Tries to Strangle Vice President's Wife After Comments on Gay Marriage



WASHINGTON (AP)—George W. Bush, reportedly angered by comments made in a National Public Radio interview, tried to kill Lynne Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, earlier this afternoon.

Reports indicate Bush stormed over to the vice presidential mansion screaming Lynne Cheney’s name, red in the face and "spitting a lot." Mrs. Cheney answered the door of her home and neighbors reported that Bush wrapped his hands around Cheney’s neck and started to “squeeze real tight.”

Cheney's comments to NPR to “Fresh Air” host Terry Gross on Wednesday revealed Cheney's lack of support for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, even in the face of defying the president's wishes.

“I don’t support an amendment to the Constitution banning gay marriage,” Cheney told Gross. “I think it’s a matter that should be left to the states. As a conservative, I don’t support constitutional amendments generally unless the cause is clear and evident.”

Cheney reportedly was able to stop the angered throttling after she handed the president a small baggy that neighbors described as "a Ziploc baggy of powdered sugar or something."

Neighbors said after the president snorted the contents of the baggy that he calmed down and left the vice presidential mansion without further incident.

The White House refused to comment Friday.