Let us discuss, if only for a moment, how fake and ridiculous this relationship looks. Tom Cruise, 42, seduced Katie Holmes, 26, just as they both have huge summer blockbuster movies coming out. (Cruise is in “War of the Worlds” and Holmes is in “Batman Begins.”) Being together is a brilliant PR move because it publicizes both of their movies at the same time. I’m betting anything that this relationship is entirely negotiated by agents and PR reps.
It also makes me very suspicious that they’re kissing every time they show up in public. They did it on “Oprah” and they do it on the red carpet and, seemingly, any old time they can when a camera is around, as if to say, “See! We’re real! We’re in love!” Their kiss on “Oprah” last week felt even more stilted and awkward than the infamous Al and Tipper Gore kiss five years ago during the elections.
Can’t you just picture Nicole Kidman sitting on the veranda of her fabulous home in Sydney, wrapped up in a silky robe with smart little eyeglasses perched on the end of her nose, reading a newspaper story about Tom and Katie and laughing so hard that she almost chokes on her Danish and coffee?
This morning CNN’s web site featured a story titled “Holmes on Cruise: ‘I’m so Happy!’” Is it just me, or does that headline sound kind of pornographic, as if Ms. Holmes was riding the Cruise stick shift and declaring her happiness at the same time in some sort of debauched press conference? Maybe CNN needs a new goddamn headline writer.
Oh, and isn’t it also a bad sign when you not only must have continual pictures of you kissing in the press, but then you have to make sure and declare your happiness over and over again, underlining it for the press corps and the general public every time you’re out and about?
But I guess, in the end, it doesn’t matter if the Tommy & Katie relationship is real or not. It got our attention anyway, didn’t it? And it also got us to mention “War of the Worlds” and “Batman Begins” (see first paragraph). So then maybe this agent/PR rep organized relationship is a success after all.
