Day One: Josh and Josh Do New York

This morning Josh and I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and scrambled to finish getting ready for our trip to New York. Josh K.'s sisters picked us up at 5 a.m. and drove us to the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport where we nabbed a quick breakfast and boarded our plane shortly after 6 a.m. A half an hour later we were airborn and heading east toward New York.

After a two-hour flight, Josh and I landed in New York at 10 a.m. We got our baggage and our friend (and future roommate), David, met us at JFK in Brooklyn. We took the A train into the city, dropped our stuff off at David's apartment on the Upper East Side, and then hit the city full force.


We started with Central Park, exploring the Conservatory Gardens (just steps from David's apartment), wandering through fields of bright flowers and mazes of shrubbery, marble statues, and ponds. We took in views of the city skyline from the reservoir and popped out of the park around East 90th Street to get a hot dog in front of the Guggenheim Museum. (We snapped the picture above just outside the park's wall in front of the Guggenheim at East 88th Street and 5th Avenue.)


We hopped back in the park, found the small pond where children float sailboats and parents read newspapers at a small waterside cafe. We sauntered over to the Bethesda Fountain, one of the most famous fountains in the world. A fantastic live jazz quartet played nearby while we sat at the fountain. (This fountain is the setting of the gorgeous final monologue in the HBO film "Angels in America." If you haven't seen the movie, rent it ASAP. It's amazing.)


We wandered out of the park and found a five-story Barnes & Noble on 66th Street and then snapped this picture in front of the fountain at Lincoln Center. Shortly after we left the entire cast of "Desperate Housewives" was photographed here for an ABC promotional event. You may also recognize this fountain as the place where Sex and the City character Carrie Bradshaw had her big date in a perfect gown and a dazzling chignon updo, but I digress.


The three of us walked to SoHo and had dinner at the fantastic Penang restaurant (seen above). The food was delicious and the service was whip fast. We wandered the streets of SoHo, drooling at the apartments and boutiques surrounding us, stopping at the Mac flagship and at Magnolia, a famous bakery. We ate our goodies from Magnolia in a small, leafy park across from the bakery, breathing in the New York spring night air. It was the perfect ending to our first day in Manhattan.

Josh & Josh Are In New York!

Josh and I will be in New York for the rest of the week. We've packed our bags (yes, Josh K. did pack enough clothes to wear a few different outfits each day, but I digress) and we're ready to go. We've been talking about this vacation for a long time and the fact that it's finally here (and that school is over and we've just graduated from college) seems a bit surreal (yet fabulous).

When we get back we'll show y'all some great snapshots of us doin' up the Big Apple.

In the mean time, we've set our blog to show every post we've made since our debut on January 28, 2005. We've put it all up for your perusal and enjoyment while we're away.

See you soon!

All our love,
Josh & Josh

Josh & Josh Graduate from College

Josh and I graduated from the University of Minnesota today. Josh K. (left) earned a B.A. in art and Josh H. (right) earned a B.A. in journalism.

While we loved graduating, we didn't so much love the graduation caps. In fact, we immediately decreed them hideous, but wore them anyway because we paid $33 for the highly flammable cap and gown combo. Whoever invented these ugly mofo caps should be arrested immediately and be forced to wear said caps in perpetuity.

Meanwhile, Josh and I are packing our suitcases and preparing to leave Tuesday morning on a jet plane for a fabulous vacation. But more about that later. . . .

Friday Treatz, Vol. 3

Josh K. and his stepmother in the British Virgin Isands. Can you guess which one is which? (Hint: Josh K. is not wearing a bikini)

The last couple of days in Minnesota have been a disappointing series of cold rainshowers and near-freezing temperatures. To combat this trend, I tried to tempt summer into rearing its beautiful head by wearing flip-flops, but my toes were so wet and cold that they started to numb.

Angry and sad that my feet turned out to not be omnipotent, I shoved my shit back into a pair of shoes. But while I'm waiting for it to warm up (so I can bare my ugly feet without fear of frostbite!), it's comforting to look at photos of the times when my feet were not only bared but bathed in tepid turquoise waters. Note my stepmom's strategic positioning of her legs so that her thighs look thinner. Clever bitch.


Just to confuse the shit out of laymen like me, someone thought it would be a tricky idea to make something as insanely cool as this. It just keeps going, y'all! Amazing! But how'd they do it?!


What five years of college will do to your checking account.

Josh H. addendum:

Last night I discovered the dark side of fine dining. At The Restaurant (you know, the hot hip one downtown where I work?) somebody peed all over the bathroom floor and I got asked to do the honors of moppin' it up. The host looked at me sympathetically and said, "I'm so sorry." It was the first icky thing I've had to do there. Luckily they had a huge mop and it only took a few strokes and it was gone.

"You know," the chef told me, "some people have a fetish about peeing and having other people clean it up. They get off on knowing that somebody else will have to see it and mop it up." He told me he knew this because he's worked in the industry for years and it happens all the time. Who knew? I thought it was more funny than anything else.


Left to right: Michael, Ani, Josh H., and Vanja

In happier news, though the weather may be crappy outside, it's warm inside with a crew of friends at lunch. College is famous for long lunches with friends, and this one was my last. Cheers, kids! Here's to a fine four years.

Hey, Is That a Dying Dog or Just Your Neighbor Trying to Have an Orgasm?

Last night Josh K. and I had an end-of-the-semester celebratory slumber party at his fabulous apartment. We sat in his living room with the windows thrown open and the lights down. A heavily scented post-rain breeze blew through the room while Joni Mitchell, Cat Stevens, and Jack Johnson played quietly on the stereo. Josh and I talked and laughed non-stop about school, guys, and New York.

Around 2 a.m. we curled into bed and started to fall asleep (on our own sides of the bed, mind you--we're best friends, not boyfriends).

But then we started hearing sounds. Softly first, then louder. Then much louder.

”Oh. Ooooh. Oooooooooooh.”

Josh K. started laughing.

“Did you hear that?” he asked.

“Is that—is that what I think it is?” I asked, sitting up. We both started giggling and we pressed our ears against the wall. The noise level increased and it was like we were in the room with them.

We heard what either sounded like a sick dog whining or else a woman on her way to a semi-satisfying orgasm. She moaned. She groaned. For a while she switched over to making noises like a constipated person trying to sling out some poo, but then she switched back to moaning dog noises. They got louder, more insistent.

Josh and I almost died laughing. Josh K. had to keep telling me to quiet down because if we could hear them, they could probably hear us.

Finally we heard a low, manly grunt. Just one. The dog-whine-constipation groans stopped. Apparently the sex was over.

I looked at my watch. “Jesus, we could have started some Ramen when they started and been eating it by the time they were done.”

We kept laughing intermittently until we finally drifted off to sleep.

I'm Finished With College Forever!

While I had my last day of college classes last Wednesday, I still had two final papers to write. I didn't feel like doing them this weekend (really, there were more fabulous things to do) but they were sort of due today so, uh, I quickly got down to business this morning.


I went to Espresso Exposé on campus, set up shop with a fresh drink, my laptop, and a pile of syllabi, class notes, and assignment sheets and got down to work.

I wrote the five-page paper in two hours. Then, in a heroic moment of academic gusto, I researched and wrote my ten-page paper in three hours. (If I were a superhero I'd like to think that my superpower would be super-fast paper writing. That or the ability to read minds and leap tall buildings in single leaps. But whatever.)


At 5:57 p.m. today I turned in my very last college paper. I slipped it under my professor’s door and, just like that, college was over.


I took this picture right after I turned in my last paper. I’m standing in the hallway of the School of Journalism and Mass Communication and, yes, I’m unshaven and wearing my glasses. But I’m also done with college and absolutely thrilled about it.

Now all I have left to do is walk across the graduation stage on Sunday morning, flip my tassel, and then Josh and I will be packing our suitcases…

Tiny Shorts, Big Dollars

This story, which I wrote, appeared in a local magazine last week.


Stripper Chris Jackson, a.k.a. Flip

Dozens of well-dressed men at The Saloon dance club stand in a semi-circle around a glass-encased shower elevated a few feet off the ground, effectively turning the shower into a stage. Thunderous dance music pounds off the nearby dance floor, but none of the men look like they’ll be moving to the dance floor any time soon.

The dim lights explode to life, bathing the shower in light. The water sprays. An emcee babbles on about the show, but the men don’t seem to be listening. They’re waiting for the next performer.

It’s 1 a.m. on a school night and the next performer, University of Minnesota freshman Chris Jackson, is ready to take center stage.

“Here’s Flip!” the emcee yells into the microphone.

Jackson, whose stripper name is Flip, appears from a curtain behind the shower stage clad in a pair of tiny black shorts. He walks to the beat of the dance music and steps into the shower. Water sluices over Jackson’s well-tanned, well-muscled body. His blond hair slicks to his head as water streams down his body. His hips begin to move rhythmically to the music. Jackson smiles. His hands wander over the flat planes of his body.

Jackson has the audience’s full attention.

Suddenly Jackson, a long-time gymnast, flips onto his hands in the shower, his legs straight up in the air. The audience cheers. Jackson begins doing handstand pushups under the stream of pouring water, earning him more whoops from the crowd.

A dozen men approach the shower, sliding well-worn bills through a slot in the shower. When a twenty-dollar bill slips through the slot Jackson again flips onto his hands. With one hand he slowly slides off his black shorts to reveal a black thong underneath.

Jackson’s fingers slip under the strap of the thong and, in one smooth movement, he slides the thong off his tan, muscular legs.

Jackson is naked, still standing on his hands. The audience applauds. The lights go dark and the show is over. The dance music is still pounding.

The student behind the thong

The next day, clad in a hoodie sweatshirt and jeans and curled up on a brown sofa in his dorm, Jackson explains how he became a male stripper.

“Well, it was one of those things I used to joke about with my friends,” Jackson says. “Then I came here to Minneapolis [from California] and I didn’t know there was a male dance company here. I had a couple people approach me at a club saying, ‘Hey, you should be a dancer.’ I was just like, ‘Fine, I’ll give it a try.’”

Interviewing for a job as a male stripper with JDE Studios, much like other exotic dancing companies, is a little different than interviewing for most jobs, Jackson explains.

Click here to continue reading the article.

Friday Treatz, Vol. 2

Remember this guy? He was featured in a series of Gap commercials about six years ago and he's really, really hot. I still miss watching his luscious lips part as he mouthed the lyrics to old pop songs while I helplessly watched my own lips part as I mouthed the lyrics to "Hero" by Mariah Carey. You win some and you lose some.


I know this looks like a painting, but it's actually a really cool outdoor room/space/sculpture behind the Walker Art Center in the new addition to the sculpture garden. To get to it, you have to walk through a long hallway that takes you underneath the lawn and into a large, open room with a gaping square hole in the ceiling. It's really beautiful and peaceful, unlike my grandma, whose large, gaping hole provides nothing but problems.


Did I ever tell you that a couple years ago I followed one of the Carlson twins around Rosedale shopping mall? Yeah, well, I totally did, and I think he was not very happy about it. As if I cared. By the way: he seemed short. And gay. As in actually gay, not just special needs. Like, he held his flip phone to his ear as if he was cupping his chin with the palm of his hand, similar to the way a lot of high school seniors cup their own chins for those extra-classy senior photos they hand out to all their friends with "I can't believe we're done!" written on the back. I did it, too, but I wrote "Actually, I'll probably never call you, so don't bother giving me your number. P.S. You're really annoying and I'm glad I won't ever have to see you again." Okay, so maybe I didn't really write that. At all. But I sure was thinking it.

Josh H. addendum

The farmer's market yesterday was absolutely gorgeous. Every Thursday they have fresh flowers, ripe fruit and delicious veggies downtown on Nicollet Avenue, stretching several blocks. This section of the farmer's market is right in front of the IDS Tower (the tallest building in Minneapolis) and in front of the Ermenegildo Zegna boutique. I love the mix of having a farmer's market in front of a skyscraper and a high-end clothing boutique. The weather was gorgeous, the sky was blue, and the scent of fresh flowers and ripe fruit filled the air. I fell in love with Minneapolis all over again.


Okay, aparently something about eating at Chipotle turns me into a spy. Yesterday I couldn't resist snapping a picture of these (transgendered) girls at the Chipotle on Nicollet and Eleventh. The one on the right was really fabulous and quite pretty. They were having a ton of fun and I wanted to join them for lunch and get in on the jokes and gossip.

Paris Gets Waxed

Last week I saw the preview for the new horror flick “House of Wax” and I called Josh. “I know this is awful,” I said, “but I want to see Paris Hilton’s new horror movie.”

It’s the kind of movie you see on a Friday night with a tub of popcorn slathered in gallons of butter in one hand and an extra-large Diet Coke in the other, laughing with your friends as Paris Hilton and her finger lickin’ good co-stars get picked off one by one. I mean, who doesn’t kind of want to see Paris Hilton get brutally taken out on-screen?

Chad Michael Murray and Jared Padalecki apparently provide ample man candy in the movie. The “House of Wax” web site shows lots of movie stills of Chad shirtless and that’s something I can’t complain about in a Paris Hilton Friday night slasher movie.

Also on the “House of Wax” web site you can listen to Paris Hilton’s podcast. It’s complete trashy entertainment. Listen as Paris leaves the Letterman show, bitching about Dave pressing questions about the fight with Nicole Ritchie. Listen to Paris getting all the softball questions given to her before her “Regis & Kelly” interview. Then at Butter, a hot restaurant in downtown New York, Paris talks about the $2 million in diamonds she’s wearing for her film’s TriBeCa Film Festival premiere. (One question: How did “House of Wax” get into an actual film festival? How?) Paris’s podcast is another one of those train wreck things—it’s so bad that you can’t help being curious.

And speaking of separated at birth…

Jared Padalecki (left) is one of the sexy stars of “House of Wax.” You may recognize Jared from “Gilmore Girls” where he played Dean Forester or from “New York Minute” where he played Trey Lipton opposite the Olson Twins.

When I saw Jared’s picture I couldn’t help think that he looked like he could be the brother of hot-and-single Scott from Friendster (right).

Cute boys, no?

Caution: Medical Scam

Tell your moms and sisters to keep their eyes peeled. Scams like this could give a girl a bad reputation, you know?